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Author and father of seven Abel Keogh lost his wife to suicide when he was just 26 years old. She was seven months pregnant with their baby daughter at the time, who after the suicide lived for a few days, then was not able to survive outside the womb.
Lost and going through a nightmare, Abel started an anonymous blog in 2001, where he wrote about his day to day pain and what he was going through.
Never spend the entire evening talking about your late spouse.
Arlin Cuncic has been writing about mental health since 2007, specializing in social anxiety disorder and depression topics. The success of your relationship will depend largely on the emotional stability of the man you are dating -- and whether he is truly ready to move on.
He started getting hundreds of questions from widows and widowers who needed advice on how to navigate their way through their own grief—and how to start dating.
Abel ended up writing six books on the topic, including how he overcame the worst time in his life and became an expert on the topic of widowers.
Your Motivation: Do you want to get comfortable socializing with men again, have some fun, find companionship, have sex, or pursue an intimate relationship?
On a gut level, which of these possibilities feels best for you?
There are quite a few questions about various etiquette rules related to being widowed. Although there are social standards, remember that you have to do what you're comfortable with.
Widowed men are prone to jumping into new relationships too quickly, says widower Abel Keogh, in the first chapter of his book "Dating a Widower." Widowers may be seeking companionship, sex or a feeling of normalcy after the death of a spouse -- and will be less discriminating in who they choose to spend time with.
Keogh recommends taking things slow with a widower, especially during the first few months of a relationship.
This is important because it helps you to know what is driving you, what you need, and what is good for you at this particular point in your grief journey and life in general.
It’s a good idea to start with sorting out your Motivation.
“Widows (women) don’t usually start dating until they emotionally get better, while widowers think they can fix the hole in their heart by dating again,” he explains.